On TPE

*Notice: Opinion Post! Accept / Reject at will, but do bear in mind that I am entitled to it*

I don’t think I could ever willingly hand over every last detailed decision of my own to Fang and nor would she let me if I even wanted to.

This comes from a few posts in AASQ on Fetlife about what you do after a breakup of a D/s relationship with (assumed, and I only say this because of the way the OP was handling the breakup.) TPE.

*For my newbies whom are learning from me, TPE = Total Power Exchange = You willingly give up EVERYTHING to your D-type, remember that key word though: willingly, as it’s done consensual.*

With TPE, with the D-type deciding everything and then suddenly *poof!* D-type calls an end to the relationship and the s-type is left scrambling what the ever-loving fuck to do because they obviously have forgotten how to think for themselves.

Many people suggested therapy, which is probably the best thing because one now has to learn how to think for themselves again…at least until they find someone else to replace that D-type and then the process starts all over again, hopefully better than the last.

Me? I treat it like I would any other breakup, there’s no ‘heightened emotions’. I could in theory survive without a kinky relationship . For some people it’s just so deep-rooted in their brains that they HAVE to have kink as part of their relationship or they can’t function. They have to be occasionally beaten, gagged. tied up, etc. to function properly. It gets to a level where kink is needed akin to breathing.

And here I am like just cuddle me, kiss me, fuck me, wanna throw in some kinky elements? Sweet! I’m game with that.

So while my D/s relationship never shuts off, I can still think and function for myself and that’s what works for me and Fang.

She controls some things now, but it’s for my own good. One to get me to actually sleep like a normal person (because I will forgo sleep..) and the other to simply remind me who’s really in charge here.

So in closing, what works for you probably won’t ever work for me. You want to give up everything to your D-type and suffer the emotional/possible physical consequences later?

As I always say, all the power to ya.

On Communication

(a.k.a. that thing that keeps your relationship going.)

More often than not, I get questions on Tumblr asking me:

“I don’t know if my partner will be into this.”

“I’m scared of my partner’s reaction to me liking kink.”

These questions are VERY common around my Tumblog, so very common that it’s now gotten to the point where I’m blogging about it in general.

Do you remember when you started going out with your partner? Do you remember that question you had to answer to start going out? That’s called communication between you and your partner.

Communication is key between you two. Communication is how you learn what your partner is into, not just in the bedroom, but outside of it.

If you’re scared of communicating with your partner, then why the hell are you dating that person? You should never ever be afraid of your partner. Your partner is there to listen to you.

The worst thing that’s going to happen is your partner is going to say “No.” and then you go from there on how to go ahead. Your partner should be willing to at least be open-minded to you being kinky, even if they’re not into it themselves. Do remember that “No.” means “No.” and do not push the issue, you’ll just stress your partner out and cause tension.

My Master and I have such an open line of communication that we’ve found that we’re the only ones that we can talk to about things.

When I talk to her, it’s easy, it’s like word vomit.

It’s just one of the very many things we love about each other.

In a nutshell, SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN AND TALK AS A COUPLE IF YOU WANT TO GET SOMEWHERE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

Bedtime Orgasms

“It’s nearing your bed time.”

Is not! It was just…

So it was.

Time is a pesky thing, it slips away on you when you don’t want it to and drags when you want it to slip away.

While time is evil, for some of us, time is all we have.

Time though, brings me good things.

Time brought me not one, but three orgasms in a night.

One was spaced out from the other two, but I can’t complain.

Nope, Can’t complain at all.

Especially when your girlfriend is talking like this:

-eyes roll back- Oh my God. Throbby cunt anyone?

Needless to say I have an accent fetish, my girlfriend is English, I could listen to her talk all day long. Now, when she starts talking like Fang, it just sounds so fuckin’ fabulous in my head.

I like. I like a lot.

Actually I liked the whole damn scene we did.

But, the part where she begged me to fuck her?

Unf.

Throb.

I think I came from that alone.

It goes without saying though, that Fang is the one in charge, not me. Even when she goes passive and allows me to play toppy for a little while, I’m still satisfying my ever-growing need to please.

Fang gets an orgasm = Vanille is pleased

Fang is pleased because Vanille is playing top for a brief while

Win win.

Am I a switch?

No. Never will be.

I went to sleep, spent, sweaty and satisfied.

Woke up..

“Holy fucking fuck, can we do that again?”

This post is brought to you by one spaced-out sub. It’s not supposed to make sense.

A small insight of one of so very many things I love about my girlfriend.

Denial.

 I had a wonderful time with Master last night. It was perfect timing too, considering I had just finished watching A Knight’s Tale, and I could focus every ounce of my attention on her. Of course, I always do that anyway, regardless.

She placed a new scenario in my head, it was wonderful.

Bondage, begging, sensory deprivation, just some of the things this little sub is made of.

Of course, by the end of it, I was begging to masturbate.

I like when I’m told to come while masturbating, not only does it turn me on more, it puts me in that submissive headspace further.

“Slower,” She told me… “Soon.”

If only she could hear the tiny whine.

Denial.

Denied. But only for a short time.

“Now.”

I obeyed, of course. Every good submissive obeys.

Unless they’re a deliberate brat of course.

I can be a brat sometimes, but..all the time? Ridiculous.

It was shaky, wonderful. Blissed out.

Saying “I slept good last night.” would be an understatement.